hmmmmm.
why do you think that is?
is it because you're just now feeling the emotional effects of this traumatic process you went through as a child?
is it because you didn't understand what was going on during one of the most formative periods of your life?
is it because now that you're older you have the language to talk about how you felt, and because of that you feel obligated to?
is it because you actually don't remember most of that time, just snapshots and sense memories of specific places and thoughts?
is it because sometimes you feel like you're faking being traumatized, or overexagerrating what you're feeling now, or that this sudden and total upheaval of your life wasn't actually as bad as you think it was?
is it because you know many people had it much worse than you did and objectively you know that you shouldn't compare your pain to other people's because life isn't a game of suffering to be won but at the same time isn't it kind of and don't you hate to lose?
is it because you're finally reckoning with the fact that many of the life-altering things that happen to us in this life are ultimately out of our control?
is it because you're scared something like it might happen to you again?
is it?